Boy issues..plz help?

so there's this guy that i've been crushing on since august of 08. we were talking and everything.you know, walking me to cl and my bus, telling me i was pretty, giving me those deep hugs and kisses,we talked on the phone every night, everything was good.it felt like we were together but we never had that title.so one day i asked him what were we? and he basically said whenever i was ready to make it official,he was ready. so i asked him a few days later and he told me that he wasnt ready to be in no serious relationship because he had just got out of a bad 1 and some other crap....it really confused me and hurt me and i told him how i felt and i just kind of tried to forget about it...tried.he ended up gpin with some1 else and they loved each other and the hole 9. it hurt me 2 see that but i didnt want to show it. i tried to act like i was happy for him and stay out of his way. and i still didnt understand what happened to me and him but i didnt bother him about it.den months past, they broke up and its the end of they year. he starts to come visit me in cl everyday...txtin me evryday...i guess tryna talk 2 me again.den 1 day, i brought the "what happened to us" topic and he seemed to have a better explaination this time. he told me "i know i messed up last time and i never stopped liking you shawty.i just couldnt do no relationship cuz i had jsut got out of a bad 1.and i felt like u wanted more.i could tell by the way you used to kiss me.but i felt like i wasnt da rite person and i aint want you to fall in love and i hurt you." that was the most sincere thing i ever heard from a dude. it made me feel like he really cared about me and was tryin to save me the pain.but anyways, time past and he was tellin me that he wanted me again.but he jokes around alot, so i didnt know if i should take him seriously.and on top of that i have trust issues.so for like a week we played this game and he got mad and said that i was his and he was mine and he's not bullshitin and he's dead serious.should i take him serious??lol.but i decided not to ask him again cuz i might just ruin it if he is serious. i wanna be with him more than i've ever wanted to be with anybody.but 4rm past relationships, im scared im goin to get hurt. or im going to get serious and fall in love and he's gon be looking like what the hell are u doing??i get erflies everytime i think about him, talk to him(whether in person or on the phone), txt him, b around him.he makes me feel a way nobody else has ever made me feel.he's everything i could ever ask for in a boy...i get teary eyed just thinkin about it.i would love to tell him how i feel cuz mayb then he would inderstand that i could possibly love him its like iimpossible for me to evr get over him but im not good at expressin my feelin and i dont like to talk about feelins cuz i think ppl will take them the rite way and i dont want him to think im jus sayin stuff just to have something to say.and i hope thats not what he's doing 2 me.i try not to txt everyday cuz i dont want to smother him but thats what he told me...lol.idk.its ben a year and he's still the number 1 person on my mind.he's sweet and nice. he's smart.well known.VERY attractive.honest and real, selfless, considerate, evrything i could have evr wanted.he makes me so happy.it was like love at 1st sight.but idk if he thought that way.i want to know how he feels about me but idk how to ask cuz i get so nervous all the time.my mind goes blank and i say stupid stuff and i just feel stupid..so 3 questions..how do i get over my nerves with him? am i just infatuated? and how do i know if what im feelin is mutual;is he just 1 of the best kind of players?? and if you take the time to read this and give me some kind of feed bak even though i kno all of this may be confusing, i appreciate you so much.i'll reach out.:-)